I believe at a time when the coaching, digital course, and digital product industries are continuing to rapidly grow and expand in the online space, that being transparent and clear about who I am, my experience and qualifications, what I stand for, and the theories, tools, and practices by which I live and run Untethered Paths is more important than ever.
Your informed consent is always a top priority. And this can only come through transparency.
Values & Guiding Principles
The Systems In Which We Live Matter
I do not believe we can truly understand ourselves, our growth, or our experiences without a sound understanding of the world we operate and live within. That means understanding how systems and ideologies such as (but not limited to) capitalism, patriarchy, race, and colonialism oppress, discriminate, and exploit us in both overt and subtle ways. And, how this happens differently for different groups and people creating intersectional experiences of oppression and privilege. This deeply affects our individual experiences of the world, the resources and opportunities we have access to, and our beliefs about pretty much everything. And this is too often ignored or excluded from the dominant online practices for coaching. marketing, and online business practices.
Our personal growth journeys are counter-cultural. And I believe that as experts, coaches, mentors, or consultants, in order to truly guide and support our clients on a path of meaningful and lasting transformation, we MUST educate ourselves on these and include these frameworks in a comprehensive way through all the tools we use to support clients and students. And, it is our responsibility to ensure we are not creating programs, offerings, or approaches to talking about and marketing services that reproduce or encourage others to engage in exploitative practices as the means by which clients can achieve growth and happiness.
As a business owner and consultant, I claim responsibility for carrying this understanding and practice into how I run my business, the offers I create, how I market, and the interactions I have with clients and followers on social media. This means constantly bringing awareness and reflection into my own practice to minimize reinforcing exploitative and extractive practices and norms rooted in privilege or systems of oppression.
Agency
I will always encourage you to harness your agency. I believe that you are the only expert in your life, and are fully capable of making decisions based on your values and goals, not mine.
I am here to support, ask questions, and offer strategies and tools to help you examine all the parts of your experience, challenge beliefs resulting from norms and ideologies, help you overcome obstacles, clarify goals, and navigate your experiences so you can take aligned action in a way that feels true and authentic to YOU, your goals, and the life you want to create for yourself.
I do not know better than you. I will not make choices for you. I will not assume to know what is happening in the background of your life and experience, expecting you to conform to mine. And I encourage critical thinking at all steps of your journey: of others, of systems, of beliefs, and even of me!
There is Privilege in “Change”
I believe it is important to acknowledge that creating change in one’s life IS privilege. Not everyone has access to the time, financials, resources, support, understanding, or belief that allow them to undertake creating big, or even small, changes without difficulty. This is not a reflection on them personally and is an unethical act to assume one is simply “lazy” or “not wanting it bad enough”. Those who don’t have access to these resources, will certainly have a different relationship to change than those who can invest in extra supports, programs, and resources (both professionally and personally). As business owners, it’s important to be aware of this and acknowledge that it’s not as simple as just offering lower priced options.
I see a general tendency in discussion around manifesting, “lack/scarcity” mindset, LoA, etc. to assume as though everyone is starting from a similar place with access (or the potential for) to similar resources, opportunities, life chances, etc. This ignores the larger structures, obstacles, ideologies, and experiences that are very much operating within peoples’ lives. Which is where our responsibility and awareness as business owners offering services becomes even more important.
There is a lot of precarity in peoples’ lived experiences in the modern world (that are not just mindset), and I believe that we must be aware and reflective of how our offers, services, content, and the language we use may inadvertently ignore or reproduce this experience in peoples’ lives.
Transparency & Honesty
I am committed to being as open as I can with you, at every step of your journey. I also ask for this transparency from all those I work with. Either of us feeling like we need to manufacture or show up with masks or different versions of ourselves, or exaggerate as a way to claim legitimacy and authority, serves no one. And deeply inhibits your ability to create meaningful change in alignment with your goals. I don’t want to be responsible for that, so openness and honesty is my approach, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Safe Space & Inclusivity
I am deeply committed, and it is a top priority for me, to always provide a safe space for you at Untethered Paths. Your voice is important, in all its messy, doubtful, confused, beautiful authenticity. And I will always come to our sessions with a focus on YOU. It’s important to me that you feel comfortable allowing yourself to be vulnerable, because this is where YOUR ability to change and create live. I don’t pretend to understand all of your experiences, especially along the axes of oppression or inequality that I have not experienced as a result of my privilege. BUT, I commit to always doing my best to encourage your voice. Because you matter, your experience matters, and we all need you.
Action, Choice, & Commitment
I stand by the belief that core to your journey is your willingness to take action in your life. Action can look differently at different times (it’s not always go go go go), but ultimately it’s always up to you. I offer a variety of tools, practices, and strategies we can work with to give you the right kind of support, but these are just tools. They can’t do it for you. I can’t do it for you. And transformation and change comes through your commitment to doing the work and showing up, through implementing strategies and ideas, and tapping into your creative potential. It’s a goal in my offersto support you through this process and help facilitate your moving forward in less time and with more clarity, and a deeper understanding of how to navigate the world or norms and structures, so that you feel more confident and ready to take the actions you need to in order to truly create a business that aligns with your truth and the life you want to lead.
How I do Business
Outsourcing, Pay, Collaborations
Currently, Untethered Paths consists of just me, Melissa. When work must be outsourced, I commit to always pay in fair compensation in recommended rate or liveable hourly wage.
I only hire people and services whom I personally seek out, and will NEVER hire through unsolicited DMs or Emails – these will never get responses from me. I always commit to spending quality time researching, following, and looking over others’ work and outputs before hiring anyone to work with me or Untethered Paths.
I will never ask for someone to contribute or give their work for free. At times, if appropriate, there may be a trade of services (we all have unique strengths!) if both parties are comfortable and accept the terms in advance.
At times I may recommend a product or a person/services I think are awesome. Or, at times I do collaborate with a person or business. I will never mention anything or anyone simply for pay – if I don’t love them and don’t believe they align with my values & practices, I don’t talk about them. Period.
Acknowledgements
It is my belief that we must be confident enough in ourselves and our work to create from our own voice AND to give acknowledgement to others when their voice inspires us. This matters for bigger creative projects and even just simple social media posts.
We’re stronger when we support one another instead of being vultures of one another’s work, creativity, and knowledge.
Quotations: I’m committed to only using quotes coming from texts that I have actually read in full first hand. Because understanding the author and the context in which a quote is written is extremely important and helps me ensure I am not appropriating or reproducing oppressive and exploitative practices in my business or marketing.
Pricing Structures, Payment Plans, & Currencies
I price my offers based on four criteria: (1) my time, (2) the degree to which I have invested time and financially in developing a particular skill, expertise, or experience that I will be using for this offering, (3) what constitutes a liveable income for myself, and (4) affordability for my clients.
These criteria carry different weights depending on the specific offer.
I do not negotiate my pricing. However, for higher priced programs I will always offer an option of a payment plan. I am also completely open to discussing options for those who need a different payment plan than I may publicly offer.
Payment plans are always the same amount as the pay in full option, spread over a period of time. If there is a difference, it will only be a few cents to a couple of dollars due to rounding up or to compensate for payment processor fees. My pricing structure & the 4 criteria above ensure that I do not need to engage in the common practice of charging clients more for choosing a payment plan (e.g., $1000 pay in full or 6 x monthly payments of $200). I view this as penalty and pressure pricing, where if a client cannot afford to pay in full immediately they are penalized by having to pay more and this is a practice that has been shown to be exploitative and exclusionary, particularly to marginalized communities. As a result, I do not participate in this pricing tactic.
I am located in Ontario, Canada and currently all my offers and programs are in Canadian dollars. As my international client roster grows, I may offer USD pricing, but I commit to ALWAYS offering my fellow Canadians pricing in CAD. I do not believe in making people in my own country pay more in full or in payment plans with fluctuating exchange rates even if it’s a little more paperwork for me.
Sales & Marketing
As a business, Untethered Paths, does involve marketing and making sales of my offers and programs. But, I am very firm on HOW I do this. If it doesn’t feel right to me, then I don’t. The many common forms of micro-manipulations and sales “tactics” that tend to dominate the online space will never feel right for me.
I also understand that the approaches I apply in my business can mirror those which are used to oppress and keep women small. I recognize that simply because I, myself, am a women, does not mean I am exempt from unintentionally exploiting other women through common micro-manipulations and sales tactics, even when I have the best of intentions. I commit to always humbling myself to review and reflect on what I’m doing at every step so I can minimize this to the best of my ability and/or pivot when necessary.
Limited Time Pricing: At times I have sales on services or “introductory” pricing on brand new programs. While there is a time limitation, I do not use this as a way to pressure or force you to sign up for something that might not be right for you or to use FOMO against you. I always keep sales or limited pricing open for a minimum of one week and offer extra opportunities to meet with me and chat to make sure this is a right fit for you. I do not want to pressure you to commit if you aren’t sure.
Promise of Certain Outcomes: I do not sell specific results or outcomes as promises. For instance: ‘you’ll get this thing’, ‘I fix this problem’, or ‘make this much money a month!’…. Because there are a lot of moving parts to your journey and to any of my offers. And everyone is different with different experiences (see Section 1 above) and goals. And there are a lot of unexpected things that can happen which could affect your ability to take action or commit to showing up. I work with strategy and the “how” to move with those pieces, how to align with your hopes and dreams, and how to understand your story and doubts and fears that root you to the beliefs and experiences that may be holding you back.
Financial & Income Claim Marketing: I do not engage in the practice of income claim marketing, and am firmly against this. These types of practices which focus on using how much someone has made, their Strip dashboards, their yearly/monthly earnings, “6 figure” or “daily sales!” are highly unethical and extractive. Especially at this time in the world where there is significant financial instability and people are hurting. When someone makes these claims, intentional or not, they are connecting the dot between their offer and that outcome, which preys on people’s financial insecurity and the solution being purchasing their offers and they “might” get that same financial outcome. This, in my opinion, is simply swapping out traditional capitalist ideologies with a spiritual narrative and, thus, replicating oppressive norms & ideologies. This practice can also be extremely exploitive, even more to members of marginalized groups. I stand firmly in the belief that any form of income claim marketing is unethical and can never be done ethically (this includes when ingenuous warnings of “this is just my experience” are given).
Explore Sessions: I offer free 30 minute Explore Sessions for anyone considering working with me in 1:1 coaching. This is a safe space to ask questions and see if we align. I do not use these as “sales” calls to try to push you into a program, offer limited time pricing as a pressure tactic, or shame you if you decide we’re not a fit. I want you to always make the best decision for you, even if that means choosing not to work with me. If you’d like to book one, please reach out to me via email at any time.
Credentials & Experience
As the online business and course/digital products industry continues to grow, there is an increasing tendency to conflate personal experience with professional experience, and “certificates/certifications” with professional credentials.
Personal experience is of course an important and crucial resource and tool in our journeys to helping others. But personal experiences are VERY different than professional paid experience and developed expertise in a given field.
Similarly, in unregulated industries, certificates signal that a course or program was completed. And can also be a signal of status or the tradition of having learned from a specific teacher. HOWEVER, in unregulated industries these are not formal credentials or qualifications (ie, a standard set of rules, expectations, code of conducts, definitions, sets of learnings, hours of experience, etc, that must be met and applied consistently by all practitioners). What’s more, in different regions or countries, there are different requirements or protections for holding specific titles.
For example, the title of “psychologist” in the UK is not protected (as is the case in North America), meaning someone with little qualification or experience can legally call themselves a psychologist. Or, in Italy, it’s tradition that when someone has received their Master’s Degree, they can be referred to as “Doctor”, unlike in North America. When people in different locales see these they apply their own meaning and cultural perceptions onto these, which can be extremely misleading.
As business owners offering services we must be aware of the “impact” that our framing creates if we are using vague language, framing personal experience as though it were professional, or using other tactics that muddy the waters so that we can appear to have more authority in our field.
We are responsible for communicating our experience clearly and transparently so as to limit the potential for misinterpretation.
ALL resources, skills, and knowledge we acquire and use to help others’ journeys are valuable and important. And not everyone has to have a ton of (or even any) special qualifications or credentials to offer incredible services. But the distinctions are also important and it is NOT ETHICAL, in my opinion, to blur the lines, assume they all function similarly, or use titles that will mislead people into believing a level of skill, experience, title, expertise, or education that is not there without adequate clarification.
I believe all of this affects informed consent at a very deep level.
My own experience comes from (1) my professional credentials, (2) my professional experience & expertise, and (3) my personal experience.
Professional Credentials, Experience, & Expertise
I have an honours undergraduate degree in Sociology and Gender Studies from the University of Toronto. I hold a Masters Degree in Sociology and Stratification and a PhD Candidacy in Sociology from the University of Toronto. My professional areas of specialization and expertise are: stratification, work and labour markets, politics and social theory (social movements & civic engagement), and culture & cognition.
I was a Course Instructor for 10 years at the University of Toronto (and a Teaching Assistant and Mentor before this). This involved creating courses and materials, instructional design (online and in-person), delivering lectures for huge 1st year classes (1500-2000 students) to specialized upper level seminars (15 students), evaluating student work, and managing teams of Teaching Assistants. I also acted in professional capacity as a mentor and coach to both undergraduate and graduate students supporting them in setting goals, creating action plans, accountability, career paths, career changes, accessing resources and extra supports, making big life decisions, navigating life using a trauma informed framework, and more.
During this time, I also completed both independent and co-chaired research as part of my Masters, PhD, and employment at the University. This included international large scale quantitive research, historical research, and qualitative research (1:1 interviews, focus groups, longitudinal studies). I have presented original research at 14 international conferences and chaired talks/round tables for the International Association for Stratification and Inequality, the International Association for Social Network Analysis, the Canadian Sociological Association, and American Sociological Association.
I have been published in two top tier peer-reviewed academic journals, received acknowledgement of contribution to several books and research projects, won awards for my research (including the prestigious bi-annual award for Outstanding Contribution to Sociological Knowledge & Research from the British Journal of Sociology & London School of Economics for research I co-chaired on the Arab Spring Uprisings) , and have been cited extensively in subsequent research.
As part of my required professional development while employed at the University, I also completed extensive training and certification (see above) in the following areas:
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Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
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Trauma-Informed Frameworks for Teaching & Relationships
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Professional Coaching (Career, Work, Employment trek, Academic, Life, and Brief)
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Counselling & Support Practices
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Decolonization & Indigenization of Teaching & Learning
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Learning Strategies & Learner Differences
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Working with Vulnerable Populations
In 2023 I began a professional Continuing Education program in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and its sub-branch of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT).
I have worked as a Professional Consultant for the University of Toronto, OISE, Ryerson University (now TMU), York University, University North Carolina Chapel Hill, University of Bologna, Environics, Gallop, Pew Research, Government of Canada, Department of National Defense Canada, United Nations, World Bank, International Social Survey Program, Netlab, and more.
Spiritual Experience – Personal & Professional
I have been working with spiritual tools such Crystals, Tarot Cards, and Runes for over 30 years. I began to self-teach when I was very young and when the internet was just starting to be a real thing (aging myself here!). I eventually found mentors and guides in the local community (Toronto, North Bay, Barrie), through peers, local New Age stores, and local interest groups.
Ten years ago I began the process of becoming a Reiki Master/Teacher in the Usui tradition. I also began to deeply study the Chakra system and follow a more traditional path staying true to and honouring the original traditions from which this knowledge and system of understanding emerged. Five years ago, I became a Master/Teacher in the Karuna tradition. In 2021 I also began to study NLP, Emotional Freedom Tapping, and Biofield Tuning/Vibrational Sound Therapy using tuning forks (both weighted and Solfeggio).
I have been working professionally (paid work) in these modalities on and off for 15 years, and began to take things online in 2021.
Professional Associations
Although I have completed recognized accredited programs, training, and hours of client work I do not belong to ICF nor any other professional coaching or spiritual-based associations. This is a deliberate choice I have made for myself. As part of my academic and professional training, I have been a part of many professional associations over the years. And, I understand the role of associations in knowledge production and control, as well as reinforced norms, specific payment structures, and gate-keeping – this is all especially emphasized in unregulated industries such as coaching, spiritual practices such as crystal healing, and Reiki. In this respect, being a part of an association doesn’t offer a formal credential or education – it is a membership. And, I believe this is a choice that everyone gets to make and it’s not for me to judge others who do choose to become members of associations because I recognize they do have a place and can be a source of help and support to those who resonate with this type of structure. But, in full transparency: this is just not me.
Acknowledging my Privilege
Privilege affects how we show up in the world, the way we navigate space, and the beliefs we hold in myriad ways. This is an especially important point of self-reflection for anyone who is involved in online business, offering services, coaching, consulting, mentoring, etc. Because there is power inherent in these relationships in both overt and subtle ways. Privilege doesn’t mean that only certain people can succeed. Rather, that systems and ideologies differently structure the way we’re constrained or enabled in how we move through and understand the world. And, those with less privilege may have different experiences and constraints that those with privilege can’t see or fully understand. It also doesn’t mean that those with privilege have it “so easy”, because they too have different constraints and ways of moving through the world.
I stand by the belief that persistent reflection, education, ever-expanding knowledge, and aiming to be conscientious and aware of not only privilege itself, but how it can operate, is crucial for anyone who is involved in the online business and services space. It affects our perspectives and beliefs, and it affects those of our clients. Being aware doesn’t mean our privilege is gone, and it doesn’t mean we won’t mess up here and there. It means being open, being honest, being flexible, accountable, and having a deep commitment to learning, re-learning, un-learning, and being completely humble in what we don’t know, and what we can’t know.
I always try to be as aware and as open about my privilege as possible. I know that several aspects of my privilege are fixed but also acknowledge that this doesn’t mean I cannot commit to a project of continuing to learn, grow, and become a better, more accountable, and supportive person (both personally and professionally).
Identity
I am a white, heterosexual, cis-woman in her 40s. My preferred pronouns are she/her. I’ve never been married and I don’t have children. I currently live a modestly middle class lifestyle in a small city in Ontario, Canada. I am able-bodied. I experience social anxiety that was intensified after Covid lockdowns. I’ve experienced bouts of depression and anxiety throughout my life. I’m a pretty awkward and silly person all around, and I try to embrace this as a part of me rather than a flaw. I am currently beginning to experience symptoms associated with perimenopause, including increased anxiety, some depression, and physical changes and am trying to navigate this new space of being.
Upbringing & Education
I was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia. My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. I lived with my mother who remarried when I was 6 to my step-father, who I connect to as just “my father”. My biological father passed away suddenly in a car accident when I was 23. I was raised in a middle to lower-middle class family with my parents and my younger brother. I never experienced severe income or food insecurity as a child. However, my family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, biological father) has histories of alcoholism, drug abuse, and prison. My father was in the military so we moved around a bit. I spent most of my childhood in mid-Northern Quebec and in parts of Ontario.
I was a bit of a wild child who was stubborn and needed to do things her own way which created a very strained relationship with my family. I got into a partying lifestyle with drugs and alcohol quite young. I dropped out of high-school first semester of Grade 10 (I was 16) and moved to Toronto. There, I got deeply involved in the “rave” scene and partying. I spent time living on the streets and in youth shelters, I panhandled and relied on social services for Street Youth to get by. I was also on social assistance for a while trying to get my life back together. I tried going to an alternative school to finish up my high school, but couldn’t stick with it.
I eventually landed solid administrative work and began working across the financial and communications industry putting in time and working my way up to mid-level and senior corporate positions. When I was 27 I fell into a deep depression and had heightened anxiety and chose to leave my corporate career and went on medical leave.
After a time, I made the decision to apply to the University of Toronto’s Academic Bridging Program: a program focused on helping more mature students who hadn’t finished high school or didn’t have the grades to gain entry to Undergraduate studies if they attained a certain average. I succeeded and began my undergraduate career!
Questions or Questions
If you have any comments or questions about the information provided here, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me via email!
And thank you for being here!